Friday, February 08, 2002

I'm Huffing and Puffing...
...trying to keep up with my various lives. My mother and I are going to visit my (pregnant) daughter and son-in-law outside of Boston tomorrow. She's finally feeling "up" enough for visitors, and we've packed the car to the roof with foods and other stuffs. I remember when my mom and dad used to do that when they came to visit me and my family when I was married, even though we could well afford to buy all of it on our own. Oh well, that's one of the traits I inherited from my mother that I don't really mind.

I finally got (apparently via Germany) the Famous Blue Raincoat CD I ordered a while ago -- Jennifer Warnes singing Leonard Cohen. One of my favorite albums, the tape of which I used to have and lost in one of my many moves, I guess. Now I can play it on my way tomorrow.

Stumbled up Aunt Owwee's site. Not only am I psyched to have found a blogger more my age, but she has links to some visually stunning blogs, e.g. In Search of a Soul and Sweet Aspirations. Sigh. I so envy people with such visual talents.

I have been in touch with Daniela from livingcode.com, and she has shared some of her poetry with me. I responded deeply to her imagery, and have made myself a promise that, next week, I will send her some of mine.

Since I don't ballroom-dance up a sweat like I used to (when I was out doing that three or four nights a week), I've started taking a NIA class on Thursday evenings. Much more interesting than Aerobics and just as aerobic. the movements are a little yoga, a little Gabrielle Roth, a few ballroom steps -- and best of all, all done to George Michael's Older-- which somehow seems crafted to be danced with NIA. I've been trying to find a copy of the CD and can't seem to.

Son b!X is preparing for his big move out of the dangerous slum in which he now lives. I can only hope that all goes well.

It was like Spring today in Albany NY. Took my mother to Sam's Club, where we bought huge bags of grapefruit and oranges to take to pregnant Melissa. I figure that you can't have enough fresh Vitamin C.

Am overwhelmed with more than 75 posts a day from the Wild Wolf Women of the Web listserv. I'm trying to remember why I re-subscribed.

Pointed to this by a former colleague:
ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL. Hee. Hee. It's worth reading the whole thing.

Tuesday, February 05, 2002

Arrogance vs. Self Esteem
I'm totally taken with Mike Sanders invitation to think about self esteem, self control, self appraisal and arrogance.... and having fun and living purposefully.

Earlier this week, he cited an article in the NY Times Magazine entitled The Trouble with Self Esteem. According to that article:
Last year alone there were three withering studies of self-esteem released in the United States, all of which had the same central message: people with high self-esteem pose a greater threat to those around them than people with low self-esteem and feeling bad about yourself is not the cause of our country's biggest, most expensive social problems.

It seems to me that self esteem is essential to being able to survive in a society that's in the control of madmen. You have to believe in the strength of your own virtues to help you live "purposefully" and even have a little fun. It's when self esteem degenerates into arrogance that you have the threat alluded to in the Times article. And we have no greater example of this than our own Asses of Evil. Michael Moore's rant pretty much documents the current manifestation of that evil arrogance.

So, if you are a truly virtuous person, and you find yourself living in these times in this place, it seems to me that your self-esteem is your precious lifeline to sanity and whatever joy you can find each day. And there's where blogging really helps. I think that it helps all of our self-esteem. We can say "every day, I put my truth out there, and everyday, someone reads my truths." One of the blog stickers (which I haven't gotten around to putting on here yet because I still have figured out how to use my server to put them on) says "I blog, therefore I am." As soon as you have a reason to say -- and believe --" I AM," you have some fuel for your self-esteem.

The people who have given up are the people who feel bad about themselves -- and they usually do so because evily arrogant others have given them the message that "they ARE NOT..." in so many ways and for so long that they have come to believe it. And so they become victims. And arrogant people always seem to blame their victims for the resulting social and economic problems.
Moore's Rant
Take a look at Michael Moore's "Open Letter to the President." It's awfully long, and it's awe-fully packed with enough indictments of the man in question to get him kicked off his soiled throne in a hurry. This letter needs to appear on the front page of every newspaper. But we know it won't, so how about a link on every blog?
More on Choices
Mike Sanders wonders about "the failings of today's generation given all the choices they have in careers and what have you. That might be part of the problem. When we can focus so much on the outside, we tend to avoid thinking about our internal state. What we do and what we have is a less painful focus than who we are."

I am assuming that I, at age 61, am not of "this generation." Actually, I and many of my friends have spent -- and still spend -- a great deal of time looking inside to try to figure out why we do what we do. Or how what we did affected the people around us, including this generation. In our younger days, we didn't have the range of choices that complicate lives today. But we still had external pressures and expectations -- many of the same ones that this generation has. What's different now, I think, is that the external pressures are magnified by the advertising media, which cleverly and convincingly continues to submerge this generation under layers and layers of unrealistic expectations.

What's different about some of us from my generation, though, is that we believed Joseph Campbell when he adivsed us all to "follow your bliss." I took the time and paid a therapist an awful lot of money to figure out what my bliss was. And it wasn't being rich or owning a lot of high-end stuff. And so I tried to teach my kids that competition does not lead to true satisfaction and that having to prove you're better than someone else is not what gives you self-esteem. And, most of all, I encouraged them to figure out what their bliss really was and to follow it. So I have contributed to this generation one ex-actress turned writer, techie, wife, and future mother and one geek, activist, ranter -- well, even I'm not sure how to categorize theonetruebix.

Now, when I look at Mike Sanders list of virtues, I figure they each have more than half of them. And, of course, I have almost all of them. (Does that mean I have high self-esteem or that I'm arrogant?)

Monday, February 04, 2002

Speaking of Fetuses
The other day, my pregnant daughter emailed me a sonogram of my grandchild. You have to understand that when I was pregnant they didn't have that kind of technology. Now they can even tell you if there might be something wrong with the fetus in case you choose to abort. Talk about ethical issues! Early on, I had long conversations with my daughter about those kinds of choices. I didn't have those choices and in some ways it was a lot easier not to have them. This is a incredible complex world this baby is going to be born into.
TV or Not TV
Anita bemoans the time that tv takes from doing other fun things. I remember when we didn't have a tv. I mean I remember when no one had a tv. And then I remember gathering with my cousins in front of a big cabinet just to watch the black and white pattern on the tiny 9 inch screen. Now, I guess, I watch a lot of tv in the evening because that's the time I can finally sit down and relax and work on a current knitting or crocheting project. I watch to escape, but the programs I watch -- even though they can be classified as prime-time soaps -- usually deal with issues that I want to think about. Tonight, for example Family Law dealt with the ethics of allowing a mother to have labor induced so that stem cells from her 6 month fetus could be used to save her 10-year old son's life. (I also watch Buffy. Heh.)
Stitches in Time
I get the stitches in my finger and hand taken out on Wednesday. I've been able to type OK but I haven't been able to do any crocheting on the vest I was trying to make for my mother's 86th birthday on the 18th. But I should be in shape to start working on the baby bunting for my grandchild so that it's done by July. And I also sent away for a pattern for a Winnie the Pooh. I remember that b!X had a terry cloth Pooh with whom he was never without for the first couple of years. My mother has very bad arthritis, and the cyst taken off my middle finger was related to a bone spur (also taken off) on the first joint, which is the result of arthritis. And arthritis is inherited. One of the not-so-great stitches that knit our generations together. I often ponder about which of my kids' vices and virtues they inherited, which my nurturing (such as it was) is responsible for, and which are totally theirs for whatever reasons.

Friday, February 01, 2002

NOW I Understand!
I got this from a former colleaguewhere I used to work.
For those of us having a hard time understanding this Enron thing .. .. ..
Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
Communism: You have two cows. You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
Enron: You have two cows. You borrow 80% of the forward value of the two cows from your bank, then buy another cow with 5% down and the rest financed by the seller on a note callable if your market cap goes below $20B at a rate 2 times prime. You now sell three cows to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at a 2nd bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more and this transaction process is upheld by your independent auditor and no Balance Sheet provided with the press release that announces that Enron as a major owner of cows will begin trading cows via the Internet site COW (cows on web).

Heh.
He Has My Vote
SiliconValley.com reports on Colin Powell at the World Economic Summit:
U.S. Secretary of State Powell seemed most animated when he talked about the causes, namely finding a way to cure the conditions of hopelessness and rage that fuel people who have nothing left to lose. Powell, once considered an afterthought in the Bush administration, may still be on the margins there. But to people outside he has become a major political leader. I would vote for him for president.
So NOW Will I Have More Fun?
Today I am a blonde, sort of.
I went to the hairdresser's yesterday to get a trim and get my hair lightened because the stuff I put on made it much to dark and much too red. So, the result, which is not what I expected, is that I now am a blonde with red highlights. I could tone it down, and maybe I will. But, for now, I think I'll give myself the experience of being a blonde. I might even like it.

Like Gloria Steinham, I lost track of my real hair color years ago. I'm sure by now there's lots of gray, and I'm just not ready to look like a grandmother, yet, although I will become one for the first time this July.

Wednesday, January 30, 2002

Sounds Like a Good Idea to Me
From Working Assets:
As governor of Enron’s home state, Texas, and then later as a candidate for the White House, President Bush was at the front of the line, both in terms of receiving political donations and dispensing political favors. Indeed, Enron and a number of its executives contributed more money to Bush over his political career than anybody else — over $550,000! Less than a year later, Enron’s bankruptcy and the final disintegration of its stock price wiped out the company retirement savings of hundreds, if not thousands, of Enron employees. Tell President Bush to donate his $550,000 to funds, such as the Enron Employee Transition Fund and REACH, that benefit the company’s former employees and provide relief to low-income consumers in California who can’t afford to pay for their basic energy needs.
Frightening Symbolism
This from bix:
In an act of symbolism that makes me positively woozy with cynical delight, Papa Ashcroft has ordered that the semi-naked statues of the Spirit of Justice and the Majesty of Law be covered with drapes.

If he doesn't want to be photographed in front of a statue of a semi-naked female form, why doesn't Ashcroft just stand somewhere else and make his speeches from somewhere else in that room?

The powerful symbolism of covering up/hiding/ignoring the Spirit of Justice and the Majesty of Law at this dark enough point in our government's history is truly frightening. The subconscious (or maybe not-so-subconscious) motives of our power-brokers are seeping through their tight disguises and warning us what they are really trying to do. The shroud of censorship is steadily being wrapped around the not-yet-cold body of American democracy.

(And yes. I'm managing to figure out how to type with nine fingers. You can't keep a dedicated blogger down!)

Tuesday, January 29, 2002

the look of one hand typing
well. the surgery on my right hand went fine, but i can't use it to type. i feel like archy.

using my mouse left-handed is also weird.

i'm freaked over my son's last bunch of blog posts about the gun shots. he's got to get out of there.

Sunday, January 27, 2002

Politicians as Scoundrels
An interesting site about politicians who have been in trouble or disgraced. It lists more than 300 politicians starting from the 1700s. Of course, these 300+ are only the ones who were caught. Makes me wonder if, to be a successful politician, one also has to have a bit of the scoundrel in one's personality. Having worked as a writer at the New York State Legislature for a couple of years in my youth, I would say that, from I have seen, that is usually the case.
Getting The Finger Fixed
Tomorrow I'm going to have some out-patient surgery on the middle finger of my right hand. I'm having a bone-spur and associated cyst removed. The doctor says I have to keep the finger raised for a while after, and I'm imagining driving home giving everyone the finger. I also imagine that it will be one-finger typing for a few days. That means short posts.
How Terrorists Are Made
Interesting column by Thomas Friedman in today's newspaper says:
Look at the biographies of many of the key hijackers or al-Qaida agents: Mohamed Atta, Ziad al-Jarrah, Marwan al-Shehhi, etc. It's the same story: He grew up in a middle-class family in the Arab world, was educated, went to Europe for more studies, lived on the fringes of a European society (many in Belgium), gravitated to a local prayer group or mosque, became radicalized there by Islamist elements, went off for training in Afghanistan and presto -- a terrorist was born. The personal encounter between these young men and Europe is the key to this story

The story seems to reinforce the importance of bringing up children to be curious about the big world around them, to help them learn how to seek out and analyze information, to appreciate diversity and the Golden Rule, and to truly seek to know their own minds and hearts. Bringing kids up in a narrow, restrictive, "protected" environment only makes them less able to deal with all of those things they never learned about when they find themselves lost among all of those "infidels" and "heathens" and "non-believers."

Saturday, January 26, 2002

Another Draft?
This is from the Center on Conscience and War --
New legislation, HR 3598, has been introduced by Rep. Smith (MI) and Rep. Weldon (PA) that would require all male citizens and residents to be conscripted into the military for a period of 6 - 12 months between their 18th and 22nd birthdays. There would be few deferments and exemptions. Conscientious Objectors would be required to go through basic training in the military, although they would be exempted from weapons training. After military training they could be reassigned to perform civilian service. See the Center's site for more details.

The Center on Conscience and War sees the bill as very extreme and asks those of conscience to write to their legislators opposing the bill.
Town Web Site Censored and Closed Down
These are the first two sentences in an article in todays Albany Times Union newspaper:

A community Web site formed to advertise this town, famed for battles in the American Revolution, has evolved into a heated debate over free speech. The site, http://www.stillwaterny.org, was temporarily taken down Friday by Supervisor Paul "Butch'' Lilac, who objected to a public message board forum started up by the webmasters he appointed last year. The forum invited users to post their opinions on an array of issues.

I wonder how long it's going to take for the spirit of open communication and debate that is at the heart of the Web -- and of a true democracy -- to take its rightful place in the minds and hearts of the American people. It is soooo discouraging.

Thursday, January 24, 2002

My Current Free Will Astrology and how it fits

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Writing in the New York Times, Nick Gillespie praised the way cartoon rabbit Bugs Bunny teaches kids "powerful, subversive truths from which adults try to shield them." Among the lessons: "smart alecks have more fun. . . . mocking authority is often the right thing to do. . . . tortoises beat hares (especially when tortoises cheat) . . . and . . . a sense of humor is the only way to make it through. . . ." Bugs' approach to life will be especially useful for you between now and February 15, Pisces. It won't be enough, though. You'll need many other subversive truths as well. I'll even go so far as to say that this is the season of subversive truth.

Since over the next month or so I am making a major investment in helping my son set up a web design business (as well as a new life) for himself, trying to situate myself as an over-60 blogger (of which there are too, too few) in a world mostly populated by bloggers young enough to be my kids (and maybe even grandkids), and trying to keep my sense of humor as I deal with my 86-year-old mother, I will heed that advice.
Comments
I have just inserted a link so that readers can make comments on my posts. MUCH THANKS TO ANITA, again, for pointing me in the right direction!!