Wednesday, February 20, 2002

I was feeling a little bad about myself but I just rolled down my bloglist and now I don’t

All day today I thought about the things (not necessarily such nice things) that I’m having to admit to myself about myself as a result of becoming a blogger:
1. I am more competitive than I thought I was
2. I really DO want to be famous (or at least a little famous)
3. I DO care what people think of me (at least some people)
4. I like to start new things but I’m not used to persevering
5. My ability to organize and keep things straight in my head is even worse than I thought (How the hell does everyone remember where they read what they read so that they can go back and lift the good stuff out for links?)

On the other hand, folks like Andrea whom I hadn’t heard of are finding my blog and liking it. And, from them, I learn all kinds of things I’m glad to know. I found out from his blog that Richard Cody writes truly fine poetry and he has been published on various web sites. I hadn’t thought of doing that with my own stuff. So now I am – at least thinking about it.

Folks of whom I have heard continue to blog perspectives that force me to keep re-examining concepts that I thought I was through examining. Mike Sanders’ blog is one of those that always throws so much at me that I would have to spend all day and night at the keyboard to be able to work through all of the sparks in my own head that his words ignite.

This particular one of Sanders' has been smoldering in the back of my mind: Almost all the reasons given for blogging seem to be pragmatic. It is no big surprise idealism is dying, but with all the individual expression in blogging, I hoped we would see some more burning embers.

Actually, I long ago realized that I wasn’t going to change the world. I also realized, however, that I could change little pieces of it, and I could affect the people with whom I come in contact. Mostly, though, I have all I can do to hold fast to the place in which I want to stand based on my ideals and values. My dream has always been that, if there are enough people of heart and hope, of conscience and compassion, and if there were a way for them to somehow connect with each other, there really might be the possibility of generating a sea change (as in the “hundredth-monkey concept).

And I suspect that, despite all of the “individual expression” we see in blogging, underneath it all is that same ember burning – we all want the world to change for the better. How do we know but that blogging might wind up being the catalyst for such a change. Of course, Marek, bless his convoluted Polish soul, might be able to do that all by himself. But just in case he can’t, what we can do is keep blogging.