Tuesday, January 22, 2002

Color me....what?
Here's another personality test for you: Colorgenics. I found it linked from the Fleeting Thoughts blog. This is how I came out:

You are trying to establish yourself and make an impact despite the fact that everything around you seems to be against you .. putting up barriers .., but don't be unduly concerned ... you have the right ideas and come what may, they will soon be manifested and appreciated.

You are a true extrovert, frivolous and outgoing. You need to feel in control of any situation. If matters are not proceeding according to plan you tend to get extremely irritable and perhaps become difficult to live with.

You are a rather inhibited sort of person. This could be the result of your upbringing or of your schooling, whatever. You are able to obtain satisfaction from various forms of physical or emotional activity ...but all in all- you are inclined to be emotionally withdrawn. As a consequence of this you find it difficult to sustain any deep involvement.

Whatever you strive to do, something always seems to be holding you back. There is no subterfuge in you. You are a clear thinker and all you demand from life, in a relationship, is a partner whom you can trust and with whom you can, together, develop a foundation of trust based on understanding. You are your own person... and you demand freedom of thought ...to follow your own convictions. You have no interest in "two-timing" and all you seek is sincerity and "straight-dealing".

You are trying to build up your own position and you resist all external influences. You insist that you are your own person and you will not tolerate any outside interference. Decisive and proud, you are true managerial material...

Yeah, pretty close.

Food for One
Since I temporarily don't have to cook a nutritious dinner every day because my mother is out of town visiting my brother, I can revert to my eclectic eating habits. Yesterday, I had guacamole and corn chips for dinner and some Pepperidge Farm Geneva cookies -- the rest of which I am munching while I check out my fav blogs. Maybe I'll just add some stir-fried peppers and onions to leftover rice and make that today's dinner. Then I'll open the Milano cookies. I think that if I didn't have to cook well-balanced meals for my mom, I might lose the weight I would like to lose. On the other hand, given the Pepperidge Farm cookies, maybe not. I wrote the following last summer, before I discovered the shadowy burrows of the blog.

Two Kinds of Days

She reports each day
on the color of her feces,
the progress of microscopic eruptions
along her thinning skin.

Each day she revels again
In the sad injustices of her past,
re-tells her ragged history
with the same unhappy endings.

I know that the pain in her spine is real.
Each day it infuses her memories --
reminding, rehearsing, repeating
the cycles of a life lived
too empty at its core
to ignore life’s chance miseries.

A chubby woodchuck
in the middle of an empty parking lot
stops to watch me walk in circles
around a June afternoon
awash in dandelion seeds
and gently dappled sunlight.

He twitches his nose,
ambles a few more steps
sits on his haunches,
rests his paws on his full belly –
a curious and patient and satisfied

“The soul needs its burrow,”
the woodchuck says,
“a warren to wend a way
through the solitary earth,
some private ground to hog,
a place safe to spend
that deep season of wonder.”

And, with a fanciful last twitch,
Buddha leaves the spotlight,
his coat a slow and sensuous shimmer
along the grave pavement.
Without looking back,
he disappears into the grasses
under a sprawling sycamore,
leaving me to search the shadows.
Changing Realities
I'm copying this from Anita Bora's site because it relates, in a way, to how one might change the reality one lives in. What if you believe that you CAN live in two realities at the same time -- switch in and out like we do with email identities? Seems to me like that's a good survival skill.

By changing your belief, you change your expectations
By changing your expectations, you change your attitude
By changing your attitude, you change you behaviour
By changing your behaviour, you change your performance
By changing your performance, you change your life